3 Tips for Giving Others What Julie Rice Says We All Want Most
Photo credit: iStockphoto.com (Tetiana Lazunova)
Entrepreneur Julie Rice and her business partners Elizabeth Cutler and Ruth Zuckerman broke new ground nearly twenty years ago when they founded SoulCycle.
And they soon realized that while people came for fitness, they returned for each other.
Suddenly, Rice and Cutler had an idea for a new business called Peoplehood, which The New York Times described as “SoulCycle without the bike.” Peoplehood offers modern places to gather, intentionally focusing on relationship-building skills.
Here are three skills they teach to forge more authentic connections–and a bonus one for doing so over Zoom.
1. Box breathing
Box breathing is a popular Ayurvedic form of breathwork that originated in India and involves inhaling for four, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding for four.
“We like to do it to Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, or some other great music,” says Rice. “In a very short time, it calms the nervous system. And all of a sudden, we can hear people differently.”
2. Simple group shares
Rice says they kick off Peoplehood gatherings by going around the circle and having everyone, beginning with the guide, share something simple.
For example, she might say: “I’m Julie, and I had a bagel for breakfast.”
Then they do it again.
3. Partner work
Next, they break up into partner groups for more intimate connections.
“That’s where we practice quite a few skills, but the basic skill we teach is called higher listening. Everybody always says, ‘Oh my god, we’re going to just sit in a circle for an hour and learn to listen? I have no time for that.’ And then everybody inevitably walks out and says, ‘Oh my god, listening was so hard.’
People have three minutes to be the listener and three minutes to be the sharer. Nobody comments, nobody reacts, nobody gives advice. If there’s a pause in the listening process, all the listener can say is, ‘Is there more?’
And that’s when the magic happens because there’s always more. And in those last 30 or 60 seconds, people unpeel the layers of their own onion. They have self-realization, and they feel like you cared and understood deeply what they were saying and why they were saying it.”
Bonus tip: Connecting over Zoom
“Rather than jumping right into the meeting, start by asking everybody a question and giving everyone 30 or 60 seconds to share. It could be ‘How are you doing?’ People are dying to tell you how they’re doing if they think you care.
Or, you can ask a question that is top of mind for your team and give everyone one or two minutes to talk about it so that the whole team can understand where everyone is at without judgment.
Holding space is such a productive way to start a meeting. Creating those connections at the beginning of the meetings allows people to root for each other and want to understand each other differently throughout the meeting.”
Julie Rice spoke at the 2023 Massachusetts Conference for Women. This article is based on her talk and is slightly condensed and edited for clarity.